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Dr Carl Langley
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Dr Carl Langley - Certifications UNKNOWN.
Some say sheep become paralysed with fear at the slightest whisper of his name and that he invented Velcro gloves. Others that his favourite pass time is roaming the valleys shouting his name out as loud as possible while wearing a bright yellow poncho and an evil grin. All we know is he's called.....
Dr Carl Langley
The only thing we know for sure about his early days is that he is the youngest of 5 brothers. Legend has it, however, after one too many mornings spent seriously hung over after turpentine and Red Bull fuelled welly wanging sessions down the Frog & Ferret, his 4 brothers, War, Pestilence, Famine and Death, fearful of the damage wreaked on their livers, booted him out. Where he went after this is unknown but it is believed he showed up briefly, shit-faced and ranting in a funny sounding obscure language, at Queen Victoria's 5th birthday party at the Tower of London.
Today, it is believed, if you go to certain valleys in a quiet tucked away corner of the British Isles some refer to as "Waaayells" you can often smell the scent of vodka and Pimms drifting in the wind. Another more recent sighting was made on the front of Shark Reef in Ras Mohammed. A diver recalls seeing a shape that looked like that of Dr Carl very closely shadowed by a large yellow cylinder of some description and a blue plastic duck. The duck looked upset. Dr Carl is believed to enjoy Tom Jones musicals and blancmange sculpting. And the odd tipple! |
Mike Rutter
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Mike Rutter - PADI MSDT
Some say that he can whistle with his ears underwater. Others that he can talk out of his ass. All we know is that he's called. .
CANADIA.
Coming from the wilderness of cold Canada - Mike's early years were spent skinning moose and chasing bears. The son of an deer groomer and innuit badger trapper - Mike is fluent in Kalaallisut, Qawiaraqa and crass.
After spending many years teaching hippos how to stitch moose coats and survive the icey winters, Mike grew bored of his beloved home country and went to Vietnam where he taught broken english. Being a shareholder in a very lucrative child labour camp allowed him to learn how to scuba dive and he quickly moved through the ranks to achieve the title of dive muppet.
Now a Christian minister in Vietnam - his days are spent rounding up new recruits for the trainer sweat shop and marrying fat white blokes to Vietnamese girls with dreams of Hollywood. |
| More usual suspects on the way! |
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